I have been worrying for the past 2 weeks about a couple of things. The main things being rent needs to be paid and my bar exam re-take fees are due. I knew that I was going to have money for one of them but not the both of them. You see…..I have been saving for this thing since November. No matter how hard I try to save and no matter how much I put away…..seems like some sort of financial emergency or unexpected expense happens to set me back. I have been getting really down in my spirit about it because this is a cycle that seems as if it will never end. Because of my student loan debt that I have accrued trying to make a better life for myself, I have a HUGE payment every month. I gathered that debt in law school, but because I have yet to pass the bar I am not making nowhere near the amount for too much extra.
In my mind I had been battling between paying the rent and paying for the bar. Both of them are due April 1st. Not paying the rent would have me get evicted. Not paying my bar fees, however, would probably sink me into a deeper depression than I have been in. (That’s a topic for another post.) I decided to fill out my applications anyway hoping for something to come through for me. As I was going to print them all out, I notice the deadline. MAY 1st!!!!! Thank you Lord!!!! I broke out into a shout. Had the boo looking really crazy, lol. Then on top of that, Daddy came though with more than half of the fees for me. God was really looking out for me there on that one.
My spirituality is a not a new thing…but renewing and strengthening my relationship with God is something that I have begun to work on daily. I was baptized almost a year ago (and yes I am 26) and even though I have been trying to find another church home and learning in Christ, it seems as if this is a rough journey. I am so up for the task though.