This is my first time writing a letter to something that I couldn’t really talk to. So here goes. Over the course of my life, I have had a lot of dreams. You are my 4 constant dreams….or should I say life goals and desires. Sometimes I feel as if some of you are getting farther and farther out of my reach. Others of you seem well within my grasp. So I will address each of you and my plans for you.
To be a licensed attorney: Okay…..me and you have been on a whirlwind journey since August 2005 when I started law school. Law school was struggle that year, but I hung right in there with you. Brought my GPA up from the depths of hell to get out of there with my juris doctor and most of my sanity intact. The bar exam is the only thing keeping me from you. 4 points away from passing on the first try. Ugh! 10 points away the second time….double UGH!!! Next is was the money that was keeping me from you. Then just when I thought I was going to reach out for you again…..the death of my mother placed you on the back burner again. But this February it is going to be me and you…..I hope you are ready!
To be married before the age of 25: The joke is on me for thinking that I could put a time limit on you. I turned 27 last month. No husband. But you and I both know that I have never been closer to you than I am today. When I was 25, I was in a really bad head space with the relationship that I was in. Marraige was not even an option. I am SO thankful for the mental capacity to even know that. My current relationship…..pure gold. If things stay on the same track (and my first dream pans out), I will most likely be making wedding plans in 2011. I have never been with a person where he knows my inner most thoughts, who can look at my face and instantly know how I feel. I think that this is THE ONE. And as many times as we have put off an engagement…..I am truly excited for the day that we officially are.
To be finacially sound: I know that you are best friends with dream #1 up there….so go hang out with him.
To have a greater sense of family: I thought that I had more time to work on you, but it seems as if I have been put on the fast track to make this work. The past 3 months have been…..a whirlwind with losing my mother. I am just now realizing that the relationships that I have with my brother and my dad were really facilitated by her. I don’t even know how to go about having real conversations with my dad at this point. This one thing that needs to become more than a dream….NOW!