So it’s the week of Christmas. If you asked me 6 months ago how I would feel about this time of year, I probably would’ve said “the show must go on.” Now I feel differently.
Christmas was my mom’s favorite time of year….and this is the first time in my life that I am spending it without her. I just feel really empty and weepy. I thought that I was handling her death really well but something about this time of year is sending me into a tailspin. It’s like I have started back at day 1 with grief. I don’t really wanna go anywhere or do too much. But I’m pushing through in spite of it all. I just never thought that it would be this hard.
Now I’m not totally depressed. I have my good days….then I have a moment in that day. Then I have my bad ones….like today, where I can’t seem to get started. Just praying for strength and guidance. At this point that’s all I can do.
I am grateful for my guy. He been a rock. He knows how I feel and is there for me every step of the way. He lost his dad 2 days after Christmas, so this is always a rough time for him too. He counteracts the loneliness I feel. So here’s to better days….
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