The more I travel through life and as I get older, I realize that people will say damn near anything to you and think it’s okay. Over the past couple of months, I have noticed that Boo Thing and I have endured what I feel like is verbal warfare! Maybe that’s how they do things in down here, but where I come from, some of the things that people let roll so freely from their tongues is grounds to
get that head beat to the white meat get cursed out. When people say things to me that I feel are ridiculous or ludicrous, my general response is “the shit you say!!”
Example: Friend: Girl, did you hear that Diddy was a part of the Illuminati and sacrificed Biggie so that he could get famous. Me: *side eye* The shit you say! (I have to work on my profanity at some point.)
I have tried to laugh it off with the person (since obviously laughter from the speaker means that I shouldn’t get upset *sarcasm*). I have tried the blank stare and silence method (which prompts people to keep going to get a response). My next method is going to be the snap back method, which I happen to be very good at. Boo Thang chooses the blank stare and silence method over all else because…..well to put it nicely, Boo Thang’s verbal jabs are the equivalent to a fatality in Mortal Combat. They are hilarious to me, but it hurts other folks feelings, so he chooses not to.
Here are some examples on the lovely game of The Shit You Say:
- Why are you coming outside looking like a drag queen? When is this EVER something that you say to a woman? To her face? Now it would have been a different story if I had on outlandish clothes and a ton of makeup. I was wearing jeans, t-shirt, an Ole Miss hoodie, and a pair of Clarks Wallabees (that are least 6 years old at this point). My hair was in a wrap with that little mesh holder thingy. My point is….I WAS SLUMMING IT. Now if you want to tell me that a lady should leave the house looking better than that, fine. If you want to say I look too dressed down, fine. But a drag queen? Get cussed out.
- I don’t know why you sitting around doing nothing and not trying to take the bar exam again. First of all, the fact that you know I am not going to a 9 to 5 every day doesn’t give you the license to assume what the hell I do with my time on a daily basis. Since you’re so concerned about my career, go on ahead and give me $550 for the exam fees and the $1900 for the prep classes. Can’t do that? Sounds like you need to find you some business then, huh?
- Every time I see you, looks like you are getting bigger and bigger. Too easy. When you go from a size 26 to a 0 Jennifer Hudson style, only THEN may you comment on my weight. Until then, you need to get your fat ass out here and walk 3 miles a day with me.
- You must be content to let Boo Thang make all the money? When our monetary decisions start to affect you, then you ask me these questions?