Lessons From Being Mary Jane

If you were like me you’ve been waiting on this show to come back since BET put that two-hour long trailer out back in July. They got showed u commercials, sucked us in and told us to wait 189 days (I didn’t have to keep track, hell Get Glue told me it had been that long) to find out what else is going to happen. Last year when the movie aired a lot of women rejoiced with cries of  “this is ME” and the most often heard “finally a true representation of black women.”

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Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love this show. I think it is one of the better show out there today that features black people ESPECIALLY where BET is concerned (yes, The Game….I’m talking about you!). However, this is not a correct representation of ME. That’s not my life. I know women who act just like Mary Jane, but I know far more that are nothing like her. I will watch this like I watch Scandal. I don’t plan to have an affair with the President anytime soon but Olivia Pope’s drama keeps me going because real life can be so boring. Can we not as black women just not watch TV? I don’t identify with ANYBODY on Love & Hip Hop, but it delights me, lol. [rant over] Now this show is definitely popcorn worthy but there are definitely lessons from episode one that you can apply to everyday life as a woman.

  1. It is not okay to absorb other people’s crazy. In the opening scene, Mary Jane breaks into her friend’s home. Apparently this friend had taken way too many pills on what we assumed to be a suicide attempt. When she gets home, her love interest (don’t worry, I’m coming back to that) tells Mary Jane that her friend needs help. Her response: She has help. Meaning Mary Jane is the help. No ma’am. That woman no matter how much you love her needs more help than you can give her. You can’t let other people’s crazy become yours. It will stress and tire you out. A good friend will be there with other solutions than just putting on a Superwoman cape. This is a lesson that I have had to learn early.
  2. Sex does not magically morph a situation into a relationship. Sex is one of those things that can make or break a relationship. So naturally I feel like it is very important to know where you are before you have that moment. Mary Jane finds herself all kinds of mad because her love interest found someone else to go to the concert with when she had to work late. We know from the movie that this man was a rebound from finding out the first guy was married. So because you share cookies, that means we go together? Set some boundaries and be real with yourself. You can’t set standards for someone that you aren’t following yourself. Which brings us to….
  3. Dating a married man is never okay. Ever. If he wasn’t honest about his marital status when you met and you found out later, RUN. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Leave it alone. Immediately. Don’t go back to it. No matter what he says about how he feels about his wife, you are 9 times out of 10 setting yourself up for failure. And it’s adultery!!
  4. You have nothing to gain by busting up someone else’s relationship when you find out that you are indeed the other woman. Ask yourself one question: do you really want to inform her that her man is foul or do you want her to be just as miserable as you?

I wonder what I will learn next week!! Do you watch Being Mary Jane? Did you love it?

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