I am a black woman who is an alumna of the University of Mississippi. There is a saying that says you never leave Ole Miss. Seeing this quote on the library wall my Freshman year, I never understood why this made sense. I do now. I did my post – graduate work there. Best seven years of my life! I lived Oxford so much that I lived and worked there three MORE years because it is a place that gets under your skin. I love my school. My time there is really why I am the way that I am. However that is challenged on a daily basis.
On Sunday, someone draped a noose and a Georgia state flag around a statue of James Meredith, the first black man to attend Ole Miss. Today people say, “there’s Ole Miss being racist again.” Today I am tired. I am tired of having to defend my school anytime that any thing remotely racit happens there. Am I saying that this type of behavior is okay? Absolutely not!! It hurts me to no end, especially with where my mind is about the Jordan Davis case and others like it. I’m just tired of the school that I love in the state where I grew up being a poster child for racial misbehavior. There are bigots everywhere and I am tired of my school having to take a 20 year step back every time someone wants to be stupid. Are we the only school to have a racist past? No, but our football team doesn’t always win and we don’t send dozens of black men to the NFL……so our penance isn’t quite paid yet. (READ: Alabama).
At work (where there is ALWAYS something red and blue displayed on my desk), I will inevitiably be asked why I love a place that is so racist. To them, I will reply:
- I went to Ole Miss because it made my parents and grandparents proud. I am only a generation removed from when black people could actually enroll without getting shot or coming up missing. II could go there as my first choice and not be scared to death. To go there and thrive, made the sacrifices and struggles they went through seem worth it. They told me so.
- Because I went to Ole Miss, I can feel comfortable in an atmosphere where everyone doesn’t look like me.
- It challenged the way that I look at the world. When your school has a past, you talk about it. A LOT. No professors shied away from it and I think to look at race relations as critically as I did, as young as I was, gave me a foundation in the way I look at things.
I challenge people to make a concerted effort to fight against racism and racist threats. Correct those that step out of line. Challenge the world. It’s everywhere. Not just Oxford.
Yep. You read that title right. I try my best not to get into conversations about food stamps and government assistance in mixed company because it NEVER turns out well. AT ALL. I know that there are people out there that really need government assistance. They get up and work hard at jobs that don’t get the job done financially. Those people need a little help. Hell, we all need a little help sometimes. What I have an issue with is people who know they only have .49 on their EBT card and run up and get $700 worth of groceries because of a glitch like it’s okay. So the day the machines went down, it was grocery day for everybody? And the cupboards were bare? Okay then. Then you get this tragedy in Memphis:
SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! You don’t regret leaving a 2 and a 3 year old at home by themselves (though I am sure this is some sort of child endangerment), but you want to hurry up and get in the house to see if your purse made it because the food stamp card is in there?!?!?!?! WHAT?!?!?! No concern for two young lives, but I gotta get my benefits. This makes me sad. This is why I question things. I get mad because I (like many other people I know) work long hours at a stressful job that barely makes ends meet sometimes. Then we all know someone that has never worked or barely works that lives better than you with what i perceive to be the money missing from my check every 2 weeks. This is a problem to me. Help those who need it. I have no words.
….the customer is NOT always right! Who came up with that mess?!
….today is Monday. Monday is always the busiest day of the week. Stop calling on Monday if you don’t want to hold. Simple as that.
….don’t rush me. I didn’t ask you to call in on your 15 minute break and you spent 10 of those on hold. Either be patient or call back in when you have adequate time to talk.
…..screaming will get you nowhere. I can’t understand you, so that makes getting help difficult.
…..if you ask me a question and I give you an answer, that’s the answer. If you ask me again, it won’t change.
….a supervisor has no more power than I have. He will defer to me every time.
….it’s just cable/internet, please calm down. It’s not electricity or water….you know things that people need to survive.
….I don’t know why you keep ending up in a call center in the Phillipines. They irritate us as much as they irritate you. They really do.
….if you are nice and pleasant, you can get whatever you want within reason. We don’t talk to many pleasant people.
…..if your name is Bob, then HELL NO I don’t need you spell it for me. I’m not stupid. I probably have more education than you do but the economy sucks….so here we are.
|Exactly!!!! (From homeschoolcpa.com)
Okay so I really don’t hate the IRS. Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited til last night to file my tax returns. Found out that I actually OWE money. FEDERAL AND STATE. This sucks monkey balls. It’s not much in the grand scheme of things…a total of $300, it just happens to be a huge inconvenience Which is totally my fault. I tried to break even on my taxes and not get a refund and ended up staying tax exempt a little too long. Lesson learned!!! It’s still hard not to be a little pissed. The older I get, the more I realized how much I get nickle and dimed for my paycheck. Then my commissions get taxed more than my base pay….THAT’S that ish I don’t llike.
I need to get a child or something…..LOL!!
1. I know I haven’t blogged in a LONG time! Still trying to get adjusted to working 8 hours and having a life after I clock out. It’s the struggle. All That time being unemployed has greatly put me at a disadvantage. Did I say that the pay is absolutely friggin awesome?!?! I’ve never made this much money in one pay period in my entire life! I’m not even getting commision yet! I can also see how a person would get stuck there…..gotta make sure I remember what I’m here for.
2. If I’ve said it before, I’ve said it a million times…..I’M READY TO MOVE! Looking at my take home, we’re set to go by the end of next month.
3. Relationships are ahrd….ESPECIALLY when you’ve been together for a long time. Communication seems to be a struggle. People get too comfortable. Troubled times have shown me that there is no one else that I’d rather go though this stuff with than Boo Thang. (Even though I’m sure we’d like to strangle each other sometimes!)
4. One day Daddy is in love with his wife, the next day I’m supposed to draw up his divorce papers (this is another post in itself). I’ve decided that I no longer want to be involved or kept abreast of the foolishness….because that is exactly what it is. Some folks need to grow the hell up.
Caught Out There – Kelis
This song allows me to express so much anger and pain!! Just the screams and anguish. It does a body good sometimes. Mostly it allows me to tire myself so that I’m too tired to be angry. Where is Kelis?
Ignorance (or witlessness) is a state of being uninformed (lack of knowledge). The word ignorant is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware and is often used as an insult. — Wikipedia
One of my gripes with my stepmother is that she refuses to let my dad be himself. My dad is one of those people who watches the news DAILY. I’m talking about morning and night. He also has subscriptions to many newspapers. He reads Black Enterprise, TIME, Reader’s Digest, and a plethora of other magazines. In short, my dad is a guy that still has a thirst for knowledge at his age. This is a major issue for his wife. *blank stare* She thinks that he is wasting his time doing all that because none of those things has anything to do with him. *blank stare* When my dad told me this, I immediately placed her on the “basic bitch” list. (More things that I have learned from my brother have led me to believe that no amount of help will get her off this list, but I digress.) I thought that this mentality was based off the fact that she was older and has a small world mentality. I was wrong. More and more I find that this is more common than I thought….in MY age group and younger.
My parents raised me in manner that I think has benefited me over the years. The motto of the house was: “If you don’t know something, look it up. There is no excuse to be ignorant.” My dad encouraged reading, so there was never a shortage of newspapers, books, encyclopedias and magazines in our house. My mother was an interactive learner, so anytime we expressed interest in something, she bought everything National Geographic video on the subject. My brother took an interest in Pearl Harbor and the whole house became World War II enthusiasts (helped me out in history classes throughout my life!). I took an interest in space and the whole house was able to name all the Lucky 7 astronauts and when they took off on the first Apollo missions. But I get that everyone was not as lucky to have parents like mine.
There is a common trend that being ignorant to the happenings of the world is okay as long as it’s not directly affecting them. Then those same people get upset when other people around them follow what’s going on in the world. I think it’s crazy to be that way, but I don’t get mad people for it. I just don’t get too close to you because I enjoy rational conversations on a regular basis. There is only so often that I can talk to someone on a subject (usually that they initiate), realize they know absolutely nothing on it, and try to prevent attacks on my character because I actually read up on it. As technology grows, I am amazed at how it’s being misused. You go on Facebook, Twitter, and MediaTakeOut to find out “news” and spread it. Then get mad at me because I tell you it’s false. There is a such thing as Google….you’re on the internet all day anyway. *in my Everest College commercial voice* If you don’t like some of things that the media reports, be selective and not buy into all of it. That doesn’t mean that media is bullshit or that everyone else is crazy. We all just have preferences.
It’s time out for people preferring to know nothing because it suits them. At least if you plan to be willfully ignorant, don’t be mad at me because I like to find these things out. As my dad said, there really is no excuse.
The more I travel through life and as I get older, I realize that people will say damn near anything to you and think it’s okay. Over the past couple of months, I have noticed that Boo Thing and I have endured what I feel like is verbal warfare! Maybe that’s how they do things in down here, but where I come from, some of the things that people let roll so freely from their tongues is grounds to
get that head beat to the white meat get cursed out. When people say things to me that I feel are ridiculous or ludicrous, my general response is “the shit you say!!”
Example: Friend: Girl, did you hear that Diddy was a part of the Illuminati and sacrificed Biggie so that he could get famous. Me: *side eye* The shit you say! (I have to work on my profanity at some point.)
I have tried to laugh it off with the person (since obviously laughter from the speaker means that I shouldn’t get upset *sarcasm*). I have tried the blank stare and silence method (which prompts people to keep going to get a response). My next method is going to be the snap back method, which I happen to be very good at. Boo Thang chooses the blank stare and silence method over all else because…..well to put it nicely, Boo Thang’s verbal jabs are the equivalent to a fatality in Mortal Combat. They are hilarious to me, but it hurts other folks feelings, so he chooses not to.
Here are some examples on the lovely game of The Shit You Say:
- Why are you coming outside looking like a drag queen? When is this EVER something that you say to a woman? To her face? Now it would have been a different story if I had on outlandish clothes and a ton of makeup. I was wearing jeans, t-shirt, an Ole Miss hoodie, and a pair of Clarks Wallabees (that are least 6 years old at this point). My hair was in a wrap with that little mesh holder thingy. My point is….I WAS SLUMMING IT. Now if you want to tell me that a lady should leave the house looking better than that, fine. If you want to say I look too dressed down, fine. But a drag queen? Get cussed out.
- I don’t know why you sitting around doing nothing and not trying to take the bar exam again. First of all, the fact that you know I am not going to a 9 to 5 every day doesn’t give you the license to assume what the hell I do with my time on a daily basis. Since you’re so concerned about my career, go on ahead and give me $550 for the exam fees and the $1900 for the prep classes. Can’t do that? Sounds like you need to find you some business then, huh?
- Every time I see you, looks like you are getting bigger and bigger. Too easy. When you go from a size 26 to a 0 Jennifer Hudson style, only THEN may you comment on my weight. Until then, you need to get your fat ass out here and walk 3 miles a day with me.
- You must be content to let Boo Thang make all the money? When our monetary decisions start to affect you, then you ask me these questions?
I try to be nice, but folks make it hard.
Have you experienced this? Are people too quick to overstep their boundaries with you? Let’s discuss!
Since my dad got married in July, I have decided that I would stay out of that situation. There is nothing that I can do or say….so I leave it alone. The fact that I was moving that next month as the perfect scenario for it all. They could have their rushed marriage and I wouldn’t have to witness it. Seems like the more I try to stay out of it, the more I hear crap about it. I have more than a few gripes with her.
1. The honeymoon phase is over.
SERIOUSLY?!?!? These folks have been married for 5 months. This has got to be the shortest honeymoon phase that I have ever seen. It’s not like they have been together for a long time. Hell they just met in January. This January. Of 2011. Every time I talk to my dad on the phone, he’s in the doghouse for this, that, or the other thing. This just makes me sound like a genius when I asked what the rush was. She was all infatuated with his ass while they were dating, but now she apparently doesn’t like the man that my dad is. *side eye* She doesn’t like that he talks a lot to people. My dad will talk to a tree….that’s the kinda guy he is. He never meets a stranger. Let me be the first to say that MY MOTHER loved him for who he was. Talking too damn much and all. She doesn’t know why he likes to watch the news so much because that stuff doesn’t have anything to do with him. *record scratch* Why the hell are you 44 years old
saying stupid shit like that thinking that things that happen in the world around you don’t impact you? She has GOT to be the simplest person I have ever met.
2. She is very insecure.
She doesn’t like for my dad to have any interactions with people of the opposite sex. NONE. No women should call him on the phone for any reason. He shouldn’t look at other women (as if he lived in a world where only she lived). My dad is a shade tree mechanic in his spare time. He can’t even work on cars that are owned by women, unless they belong to her. *sighs*
3. She has a problem with him giving any financial help to his children.
Now THIS one is the one that grinds my gears. She is financially irresponsible…..a new development since they’ve been together. She has been used to taking care of all the bills for her own house (which he lives now). Apparently he’s responsible for taking care of everything while she goes out to buy $300 Coach purses. He is also supposed to take care of her 2 children that live there too. But when his own children need something, that becomes a problem. She has said that I wasn’t raised right because I live with a man who isn’t married. I almost went to jail over that statement. This was spoken from a woman who has two children with two different fathers and my dad is her FIRST husband. *sighs* I’m a daddy’s girl, even with all this mess. My dad has my back without me having to ask….so if I need help of any type, he will be there. She actually got snapped on for this comment.
For these reasons, that bitch is not my stepmother…she’s my dad’s wife. A stepmother gets in there and at least TRIES to get to know her stepchildren. She gets in there with my brother but she tries to isolate me. She knows that I am not down with the bullshit. I don’t fake the funk with anybody, especially not with anybody that I don’t think will stick around long. She doesn’t think I know all of this stuff. I let her live Thanksgiving, but Christmas…..stay tuned. She has used all three of her strikes up with me…..I wonder if she knows it…..
Sometimes I feel like when it rains, it pours. I have been extra pouty over the last couple of days because every time something seems to look up in my life, it somehow takes an extra turn and goes a little sour for me. I am one of those people that is a little afraid to get excited about certain things because I don’t want to be disappointed later on. So here’s what’s been going on.
- The start date of my new job has been delayed until January 23rd. I was told that it was delayed because even though they have me in the system they have not started on my background check as of November 14th….the date that I was supposed to start. This is extra irritating to me because I have been on the phone with those people back and forth since I got hired. I’ve been breaking my neck trying to find old W2s and checkstubs (which proved to be hard because we have moved and still haven’t found a new place for important documents to go) to fax in to them. I think that if I am being prompt then as a business you should be too. I feel really bad about this because Boo Thang has since picked up a second job. Mind you he did this because he wanted to have extra Christmas money, but it LOOKS like he’s slaving away while I am at home doing nothing (at least this is what I heard it looks like *rolls eyes*). I was looking forward to this job because it means that we could get our own place really soon…..but it looks like that dream is deferred.
- My computer crashed. It has EVERYTHING on it. Plus it was my best mode of entertainment thus far. Bye, HP…..it’s been fun.
- My dad is depressed because it doesn’t seem like his marriage is working…..after 4 months and 15 days. I
told him that shit was not going to work back in June sympathize with him just a little bit. That’s my daddy. He really is good people….too good to be mistreated by an immature, insecure golddigger.
- Boo Thang and I need our own place. ASAP. I am starting not to feel like an adult anymore and this is a SERIOUS problem for me as I have always been a pretty independent person.
So these are my gripes. They are all workable….but sometimes it just feels good to pout about it, listen to slow jams and drink wine.