I’m Stressed Out…..

….and I’m tired of feeling this tired ALL THE TIME. I am 30 years old and my body just can not handle it well. AT ALL.

I went to get a root canal last Wednesday. I am fully aware as I sit down in the chair that this root canal is going to take up my insurance allowance for the year and I need to wait til the end of the year to get the crown so it can ┬ábe filed next year. This was planned by my primary dentist and I. HOWEVER….this little hotshot dental assistant proceeds to tell me all of the details and what my out of pocket costs were going to be. Apparently my cracked tooth was doing the most because I needed some posts and some more ish (*side eye*)….to the tune of $500 cost to me. Then asks if I was going to make the whole payment today. Then takes my blood pressure…..which was 170/110.

I’m 30 years old and money I don’t have stresses me out. I work at a high stress job that is nowhere near my hopes, ambitions and dreams that doesn’t pay nearly enough for the stress that it causes. I’m overworked, underpaid and I don’t feel appreciated…..except at home. But I am rarely there. I’m 30 years old on 2 different blood pressure medications….which I recently stopped taking just as a test (won’t be doing that again….seems like the dumbest idea I’ve had). I have severe anxiety, insomnia and I worry about everything. Why am I this high strung?!

Today I am done. It’s time to start looking for things that make me happy. I need a new job. I need a new city to live in. I need to feel comfortable and stable.


First Lines Friday

Today I went to Barnes & Noble. Spent WAY too much money, but what can I say? I love books. This Inspired me to participate in this meme done by Literary Marie of Precision Reviews. This is one of my pickups.

“It’s my day off and I’m in the kitchen getting ready to fry some chicken. When the phone rings and I see my daughter’s name on the caller ID, I’m tempted to let it go straight to voice mail; the only reason I decide to go on and answer it is because I’m worried it might have something to do with my grandsons. Plus I don’t trust her.”

Two seconds in to the book and I’m all “ooooo!!!” This is going to be great!

Day 4: Places You Want To Visit

I am a lover of travel. I love to vacation and just get away from everyday life. These 10 places are on my bucket list of places to go.

  1. Las Vegas, NV: Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…..
  2. New York City, NY: I have always been a lover of musicals and plays and culture, so NYC speaks to my spirit.
  3. The Bahamas: Who doesn’t love an island getaway?
  4. Jamaica: I want to see the real Jamaica though. Stabbing Jamaica….I would have to leave the resort on this trip.
  5. Los Angeles, CA
  6. Paris, France
  7. Rome, Italy
  8. Tokyo, Japan
  9. Washington, D.C.
  10. Walt Disney World: I could care less about the rest of Orlando. Just give me Mickey and Minnie, lol.

I’m back….

Sorry blogger fam. I have been missing for quite some time. Had some things that were going on in my life that I had to take an extended hiatus. I am back now. (YAY!) I am going to be catching you all up on what has been going on over the past 2 months. Some good, some bad, some really sad. So read, relax and enjoy. I promise to never leave again….for now, lol.

Wedding Bells Are Ringing…..But The Music Sounds Awful

I will be 27 in August. I’m not married and I don’t have any kids. However a hell of a lot of my close friends and associates are engaged, just got married, have babies, are due any day now…..you get the picture. You know what they say about us women. Our biological clock starts ticking and we go to itching to get married and pop out a few babies. I am not going to lie. Every time I see a baby, I melt, get googly eyes and say to my boyfriend, “I want one!” It’s wedding season now and this year (like every year before) I have begun watching WE, The Style Network, and TLC….with all of its Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, Whose Wedding Is Anyway, and Say Yes To The Dress propaganda programming. I look at every thing wedding related on the internet (everything except engagement rings….I think my guy should pick that all by himself. I would love anything he picked out. EXCEPT 3 stone engagement rings…..been engaged with one of those before. I’ll pass.)

So am I jumping at the bit to get married. NO! This is why in a nutshell.

From 2007 to 2009, I went 5 weddings. Out of those 5 couples, only 2 are still happily married. 1 is already divorced. Another is filing for divorce very soon and the third one was headed for divorce but they are unhappily trying to make it work though it’s painfully obvious that they shouldn’t be together (we all knew that on the wedding day….that’s why none of the groom’s friends and extended family came). That doesn’t sound like a good statistic. It doesn’t necessarily deter me from getting married, but it does make me take a step back and evaluate my long-term decisions in love. When I get married, I only want to do it one time. ONCE. I want it to be forever…like those old people who are married for 75 years and stuff. So I want my and my boyfriend to take our time. Make sure that that is the direction that we are headed before we jump the broom into a mistake.

All signs point to a great union though. We have been living together for almost a year. (I know this may be morally wrong, but after growing up with my parents I think that this is important. I know that they love each other…..but they didn’t seem to like each other very much. I want to avoid that as much as possible. God knows my heart.) We have our ups and downs just like anybody else. But he is my soul mate. We read each others minds, finish each others sentences. We’ve been together 3 years and I still get excited to get off work and go home to see him. Sappy, isn’t it. He proposed to me a little over a year ago. (No ring….just a promise….so not official) He tells me at least once a week about how he really needs to get this ring so we can just do it already. (*blushes*) I tell him all the time that I love where we are. We both know that making the jump right now would be short of crazy because love doesn’t pay the bills, lol. We are maybe a year away from our career goals. Once real money starts coming in from me at least….I will say yes 1000 times. But for now….I’ll leave the wedding bells for those brave enough.